I have just paid a 25% deposit on a new Helen Kish doll--Wren Harvest Moon.  You can see what she looks like ( Here )  I am still absolutely flabbergasted that a doll that hasn't even hit the shops yet--and one of the new releases probably won't until June/July--is already sold out practically everywhere.

I've been interested in dolls for a while, mainly Pauline Bjoness-Jacobsen vinyl dolls since my daughter was given one as a birth present nearly 10 years ago, but I have recently discovered Helen Kish, purchasing my first Riley doll and receiving her yesterday.  I'm in love, though Riley is very small.

Aren't you all so glad I let you in on one of my new fads?

:o)

I've had a relatively good day today--did nothing but I found a fellow Spuffy supporter (who hasn't read any of our community fic!) and where did I meet her?  I buy cards off her on ebay and I bug her in gmail!  Poor girl.  probably thinks I'm a twisted soul!  Anywho...I started feeling all buzzed and eager to write and I hear you all cheer...HURRAH! She's going to open up the WIP's and do something constructive.  But alas, no...

I opened up my bloody ideas folder!!!!!!!!!!

I need serious brain surgery.

Oh my, two posts in one day!!!

The main reason I stopped writing/posting Disillusioned was because the fic started out so light and became incredibly dark.  If you read this chapter you will see my reasoning.  I have difficulty writing dark--I find it depressing and it takes a whole lot out of me, and so its next to impossible to sustain.  This is also the reason why I stalled with What Place is This? and I think Elemental Slayer.   So many people really loved Disillusioned and I am quite concerned about their reaction to the fic from here on out.  I admit that only the bare bones of the tale remain in my memory so it could veer in different directions, but I do have a number of chapters written that I was too scared to post.  I want to get on with writing spuffy so I've decided to throw caution to the wind and get these off my harddrive. Please, please be kind. 

Warnings: This chapter is dark and has elements of non-con in it.

An incomplete revised version is at Elysian Fields but if you don't mind the errors a 'to date' fic can be found at Spuffy Realm here

Many, many thanks go as always to the wonderful and truly brilliant Holly without whose wisdom I would probably never venture anything out into the public domain.

Now, on with the show...

First of all I want to say a HUGE thankyou to Deedo and Dede (*snicker*) for your LJ gifts.  So pretty and so thoughtful and YES, Dede we MUST catch up soon.  Um, when???  Secondly, Pfiefferpack, you are awesome.  There just aren't words for how caring and thoughtful you are and I thoroughlky don't deserve you!

I had a good birthday.  A friend I go walking with told me to go shopping and splurge on myself.  She needs a thorough slapping because I ended up splurging all right! I splurged my way all over a Pandora bracelet, three murano beads and two silver ones, just so it didn't look completely bare and now I'm too scared to wear it!!

I've been giving some serious thought to writing lately.  My past 6 months have been taken up with frantic craft activities and I was unwittingly made the convenor of a Fairy stall at my daughter's school fete, which is now thankfully over until next year.  Since then I've actually read a book--two in fact and a good way into the third.  I'm keen to do something proactive in my life again and getting back on the Spuffy horse seems like a good idea...

...but first I need to get my son the hell away from my computer.  He's apparently left school--won't discuss his future, what the hell he's doing etc.  Just wants to sit up all night playing a soccer computer game.  He's working so not a completely pathetic case, but I do believe he might be depressed as eveyrthing that always seemed important to him is becoming less so.  It's a slippery slope and he just keeps on sliding.  Anyway...much as you can imagine is going on.  Macsen has started school this year and in only two months he's saying many more words and his pronunciation is clearing up.  The teacher is being constantly surprised at how smart he is.  Bowen is integrating full time in a mainstream class.  We have anxiety issues but he's coping at school if not at home.

That's round about where I stand right now.  I need some inspiration to get the creative juices flowing again.  What have you guys got for me???

I received an email this morning from someone asking if I planned to write more of 'The End of Sorrow", a gift fic I wrote for Uncaged_muse an eon ago.  Unlike my normal fics it left Buffy and Spike in a place where they got to explore the world together, rather than already being in love.  At first I thought she was mad, but then I went and read it and it really did have potential for a sequel (though we know how good I am with sequels--remember the Taste of Juliet sequel that never came???)

Point is, though, I have so many fics I haven't finished and so little time I spend on writing these days implying it might be a long time till they are done.  Why do people keep inspiring me???I'm going to be thinking about it all the time now when I really should be finishing off my next chapter of Will to Love as it is closest to being done than any of my others. As much as I could go and plot out a sequel, should I?

*Sigh*

Meanwhile, in RL I've been hanging out for ages for a friend to get on YIM so I can speak to her.  She's being irritatingly absent so I might have to go and do something I haven't done in ages....actually go phone her!

I'm a bit late for all the Aussie's on my list, but the day is right the rest of the world.

Right, so much to catch up on....I'm going to make more of an effort to post this year...NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!!!  I promised Kathleen!  And now that I know I have certain LURKERS who spy but don't reply....it's one way to keep people informed about life...well, mine...right?  Also, with the fic posting as well.  I am still working on the next chapter for Will to Love and I'm sure it will be ready soonish.

So, first order of the day...I believe I truly need some new icons.  Anybody have any suggestions of some good ones to link me to?

I want to publicly thank Louise and Lady O'neil for their gorgeous Christmas cards.  i am unbelievably pathetic when it comes to cards the past two years but it meant so much to receive them and hopefully I will get my act together.  I hear it's never too late?

Christmas was interesting...and expensive.  Bo discovered Jeshua's old Power Ranger's In Space video and is not a Red Power Ranger.  As he only ever wants Wii games as gifts I went all out and tracked down some In Space rangers.  Who the heck knew that the series was still going? Albeit not the original rangers but new spinoffs each year.  Still, I've located four of the five and it looks like I have to pay a small fortune to find a pink one if I want the full set.  I could have had one too but Eires convinced me to get yellow first!!

Also, I have flitted through a number of new passions this year.  Cardmaking has taken up ALOT of time and money and I don't know how it happened but I suggested a Fairy Stall for the next school fete in march and was made the freaking Convenor of the stall--and guess who has to go seriously overtime to make things for it????

Next impetuous fashion was to locate some Pauline Bjonness Jacobsen dolls.  My daughter received one when she was born and I bought a couple before Pauline passed away, but I've managed to buy some of the vinyl babies.  Guess who has an eBay addiction????  I am still looking for an 8" vinyl baby called Kimmy, MITB.  I've also just purchased an Artista doll called Little treasures.  She is still in transit but I am veyr much looking forward to seeing her.  I'm looking at two dolls-one by Lee Middleton and one by Berenguer.  Does anyone have much experience with these dolls and have opinions on either's quality??

Anyway, looking forward to trying to become a regular LJer again...and catching up with some special people I've been an awful friend to.  How the heck are you all???

OMG!  Can you believe it?  An update.  It must be Christmas, LOL.  In case no one actually remembered this fic, here is the summary and a link to the beginning of the fic.

Rated R

Set in Season Six, As You Were. An old flame returns to Sunnydale and Buffy is forced to make the hard decisions. Will she have the strength to listen to her heart instead of the voices that have taken over her life? Can a person be taught how to love by the very demon that supposedly couldn't? And is the risk of love worth the risk of hurt?

dark-solace.org/elysian/viewstory.php

Now on with the story...

OMG!  Are you as shocked as I am that I'm posting something new?

I really need to thank Holly and Schehrezade for the beta.  Shez--now if that doesn't tell you how long I've had this chapter written for...

Anyway, with luck there might be one or two people out there still reading this fic.

WARNINGS: We're getting into the harsh, dark stuff here.  If you can handle it, clicky on the chapter.

It's been a while since I've done much in the fandom, but Uni holidays are on the way and what better thing to do but to host a fic-a-thon?  Spikeslovebite, Holly and myself are extremely enthusiastic at the prospect of running one of these, but what we need is interest from actual writers.  A show of hands would be EXTREMELY appreciated.

Pop along to seven_seasons to offer your opinions on what you'd like to see in a fic-a-thon and your committment to it.